it has taken me many years
but i finally am realizing how difficult it truly is for people to get close to me. in the past it was an admittedly insecure defense mechanism on my part, but when the time came that i moved past whining and could give a fuck less about that nagging critical voice inside my head i can now say its because i just like to be alone. i love my solitude. my favorite part of the day is coming home, and spending some good ol quality time with the jasmeister. wow. i havent called myself that since i was like 12 years old. i predict myself being single for at least the next 3-4 years. i seldom abandon myself to friendships that dont have numerous secrets laying beneath the surface. of course i believe in honesty, but i also believe in privacy—its been said a million times, but it never loses its truth—other people are hard to trust. i try to find a nice little balance in everything i do. im honest when the situation demands it, but never would i just give away those shadowed things about me just for the sake of being honest.
