i love the internet. i love searching through people’s facebook/twitters/myspaces. i am that creepy person who knows everything about you via your latest blog. at times its a little sad (lol), but i mostly like to pride myself on my superb ability to pick up on all those little nuances about people that most overlook. im losing my point… anyway. over the years ive become quite the secret admirer of various blog goddesses. you know who they are… theyre drop dead gorgeous, usually involved in some kind of artistic line of work that calls for a lot of networking/partying, witty, and best of all, theyre cunningly raunchy and public about their sex lives. theyre 100% female in the most lethal sense of the word. i once tried my hand at mimicking their quirky behaviors, but really, im much too passive. ive actually come to terms with the fact that my personality actually leans more towards being a guy. more like a really chill stoner guy. i’ve got my moments of course, but for the most part im very secretive about my more outlandish eccentricities, and while i like to throw around the pervish jokes every now and then, im also pretty private about my own sex life. i love sex, and ive always wanted to exude the kind of dripping sexuality that these chicks do, but in truth i have my own fears of intimacy. and they go very deep. and its def one of the reasons why im still single. i flirt a lot, but im usually not very willing to take it any further than that. i suppose the term ppl like to apply to me is a tease. and yeh. i got some haters, both male and female, who dont appreciate my nature. at this point i guess i dont really give a fuck. im just very hands-off. maybe i just need someone to turn me out right…
now that saturn is no longer in virgo i can feel my personal organization skills goin out the window. is that weird.
i hope that i will be able to openly practice my religious beliefs without my fam condemning me. i mean i love them and they love me of course, and we get along very well for the most part, but i think thats mostly cause over the years ive made it a habit to conceal any opinion i have about the church. i have two parents and three sisters formerly catholic now turned conservative evangelical christian. i have always been sort of the black sheep. while it sometimes is a quality about me they mostly take a liking to, its also one that forever separates us on a spiritual level. i like to debate but i hate arguing—theres a fine line there—and i used to find us arguing over the true concept of god. i find god a little bit of everything, and i need a perspective that allows science, and all other religions of the world to coexist together. thats def not the case within my household. i dont necessarily think theyre wrong i just think that, like all systems, theres room for human error of understanding and its a very dangerous thing not to realize that. like… stop worrying about my soul, worry about your own. i could go on for days about this but i think ive gotten the gist. also its time for lunch. later.
i get so offended when people stop following me on twitter. i know i shouldnt. but i just…. do. lol
i used to find comfort in the fact that if i ever was in a dangerous situation, someone older than me would go out of their way to rescue me. i liked being cared for, being looked after, and i would actually feel scared for this older person because i couldnt fathom their bravery. now that im older and love little babies and would jump in front of a moving vehicle for them im realizing that it doesnt really take bravery at all to do something like that, its just a natural reaction. i like being older better.
1. work is way more stressful than it should be. its not a difficult job—its actually pretty damn easy w the capacity to be super fun, but wen your boss is tweaking—well lets just say it makes work politics really messy. and i actually really love my boss as a friend, but work is work, and wen it comes down to it, your boss… is still your boss.
2. on a completely different note, but pretty much the same concept, im learning now to never mix money w your friends.
3. i got internet scammed a couple days ago because im retarded but i am now also retarded and out $100 lol read the fine print yo
4. wow. money is crazy. i dont let it affect me too much simply because ive always been pretty good w managing my funds, but its just taking a diff turn now cuz my income isnt as steady as its been the past couple months. personal funds are shaky, but im eating, im dressed well, im out for drinks every now and then, so im still pretty content. you honestly dont have to be rich to be well off, its how you handle your money. im def not a rich person, but i have excellent organization skills, and im willing to make necessary sacrifices to pay my bills. and i got a lot of em. id venture to say im something more than a good 20 grand in the hole, and thats not including my car loan. id also like to add that any reckless spending done under my name has either been due to the fucked up american education budget, or thousands of dollars that ive regrettably lent out to my dads risky business ventures. its a pretty penny, but i dont let the numbers scare me, so ive been able to maintain a nice credit score. plus after seeing zeitgeist addendum have concluded that most of us will be forever circling the drain of debt’s eternity anyway.
after witnessing the lives of loved ones fall under the blow of financial hardship, i promised myself out of everything i go through in life, not to let money woes determine my happiness. its a hard fucking thing to do in cali where cash is king, but its not impossible. theres millions of people who would die to be in my shoes, and i want to stay mindful of that. contrary to popular belief, its NOT all about the benjamins.
aren’t forever. and thats something that i will be learning the rest of my life. i might as well let it sink in now.
are going to be a doozie if ever there was a doozie to be goed.
and it rocked. found a new dance team, in the process of orchestrating one bad ass bday party, felt 16 again @ blink and no doubts first tour in 5 effin years, blossomed with a summer stranger, discovered a new side to old friendships, got kicked out of some places, got invited to better ones, all in all i give it a 9.5. that extra half was because ij is still locked up. and i miss him. and his girlfriend sucks.
